Murphy's Law

law

Anything that can go wrong...Will go wrong.

  • If it jams, force it; if it breaks it needed replacement anyway
  • Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  • If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.
  • There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
  • The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • In any field, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
  • If there is any possibility of several things going wrong, the most catastrophic combination will occur.
  • No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be cheaper somewhere else.
  • In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence and then remains there.
  • When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman it will work perfectly.
  • Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath exactly to the center.
  • Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
  • There is always one more bug.
  • The other line always moves faster.
  • All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
  • You'll remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.
  • If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.
  • A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
  • You will always find something in the last place you look.
  • No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be cheaper somewhere else.
  • Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
  • Left to themselves, things will always go from bad to worse.
  • The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
  • In any field, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Laws of Computer Programming

I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

II. Any given program costs more and takes longer.

III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

V. Any program will expand to fill available memory.

VI. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

VII. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.

VIII. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.

IX. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

X. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

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